THE RACE TO 0.270

POINT .270

State called. State poured.

0/ 538 ELECTORAL VOTES ACCOUNTED FOR
0/ 51 JURISDICTIONS CALLED

THE NATIONAL BOARD

CALL IT WHEN THEY CALL IT.

2024 + 2028 ALLOCATION
An illustrated election desk that becomes increasingly covered in beer glasses, bottle caps, tally sheets, snacks, and broadcast cables.
11:47 PM ET THE DESK HAS STOPPED USING COASTERS.

OFFICIAL HOUSE RULES

THE CONSTITUTION IS SILENT ON THE BOTTLE OPENER.

  1. 01

    WAIT FOR THE CALL.

    A projection, a concession, or one uncle shouting at the television will do.

  2. 02

    FOLLOW THE CALL.

    Drink something brewed, fermented, or distilled in the state just called.

  3. 03

    KENTUCKY GETS BOURBON.

    This rule has survived every recount. Tennessee has filed a motion.

  4. 04

    RETRACTIONS ARE FINAL.

    If the network retracts a call, the beverage remains legally consumed.

  5. 05

    THE REMOTE HAS JURISDICTION.

    Its holder may mute any panel, pundit, jingle, hologram, or county map.

THE RACE TO 0.270.

LAST CALL TBD.

THE SHORT VERSION

STATE CALLED.
STATE POURED.

Choose the state on the board when the networks call it. The desk will supply an appropriately regional suggestion and absolutely no electoral analysis.

READ THE FULL RULE BOOK

RECOUNT REQUESTED

CLEAR THE BOARD?

Every state returns to too early to call.